i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
