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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
