this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
