I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
handjob tips. give me some.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
