last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
