They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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