That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
