Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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