Christians are straight up FREAKS
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
