She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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