Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize