I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
