That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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