I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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