Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
