I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
