she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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