I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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