I just made out with a guy for $7.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
