how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
only you would photoshop your dick
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
