hotel room ftw
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
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Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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