will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
