ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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