so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
