My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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