O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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