Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
