I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
