listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
