Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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