She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
