Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
