How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
