this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Randomize