I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
