I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
