See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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