new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
