ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
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I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just want nice things and good sex
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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