worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize