Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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