i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Sacagawea was the original milf.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
