on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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