did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
