i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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