pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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