alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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