I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
