This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
