Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize