We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
