you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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