Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
