used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
