your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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