in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
