i would punch a child for taco bell
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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