Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
where does the pee come out of this thing
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
