I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
