what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
