i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize