I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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