that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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