no, he came in my armpit
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize