I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
