and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
