Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
