I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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