i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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